Her eyes are drooped half closed
They’re brimming with her tears
The snot drips from her nose
She’s got Adam Driver Ears
She’s never said a mean word
So let’s make one thing clear
Every taunt was absurd
She’s got Adam Driver Ears

And she’ll help you
Five star Yelp you
And she’ll try to save the whelps too
She’s ingenious, and she goes out
Of her way to make folks happy
She’s got Ryan Seacrest’s big veneers
She’s got Adam Driver ears

She’d love to drive you home
Wants to allay your fears
She’ll let you use her phone
She got Adam Driver Ears
She’ll buy some ice-cream for you
And all your happy peers
Your laughing makes her blue
She’s got Adam Driver Ears

Now she’s seething, deeply breathing
Glaring at the cracks on her ceiling
She has had it, and she’s mad that
Her friends treat her like a doormat
She will become their worst fears
She’s got Adam Driver Ears

Now she’ll bite you
Backstab knife you
Get the husband and the wife too
Wipes the blood off, grabs the axe and
Makes mincemeat out of her friend group
She has become their worst fears
She’s got Adam Driver Ears

She’ll bite you
Backstab knife you
Run a sword through
She’s got Adam Driver Ears
Disembowel you
Lick the blood too
You’re doomed, Boo
She’s got Adam Driver Ears